May seem weird why this subject is included right? Read along, I'm sure you'll agree with me this is one of the key steps in our development years that can manifest itself in later years.
A friend of mine said she was very glad to see no favoritism in her father in law towards his 3 sons. The 3 sons, having families of their own loved each other dearly and have very little misunderstandings between them. This grandfather didn't display any favoritism towards the grandchildren too despite one of the sons not having any daughters. All of them get along so well including the daughter in laws.
No one likes to compare, right. I know of another friend who has a younger brother who gets everything he wants even when he's not mature enough to have it...to the dissatisfaction of the sister. Over the years living under this "favoritism" has made here bitter towards her brother. Even after marriage, she never gave in to the brother as a form of vendetta. This took a long time and was painful to overcome.
In our married relationship - our upbringing can pose a threat to it and if not checked it can ruin a happy family. We're here to build this journey today and tomorrow, so let it be our desire to be fair to all in the family.
Your kids will love you and appreciate you for this.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Learning from Kids
What? You gotta be kidding me. I've had so many experiences and you expect me to learn something about loving from kids? Absolutely!
Three areas that I'd like to highlight we can learn from them;
1) Faith
As a child (whom I was once before), I'd look up to my parents not just for approval but even for guidance in the way I behaved, spoke and lived my life. How can this be applied to my relationship? The spouse that you chose (whom I believe is your best friend of life) will surely open up and offer advices on becoming a better person to them and the family. Many a times, we feel as if we're being run down but let's take it in the right manner - if our spouse can't be frank and honest with us, who can? So trust and have faith that your spouse wants the best for you and would be delighted to support you throughout making some positive adjustments.
2) Energy
Do you ever wonder where your kid/someone else's kid's energy come from? It's like boundless and never seems to stop once their excitement is raised. It's true we will drown in our weariness after a hard day’s work - where can I find that extra energy to communicate constructively with my spouse? Our bodies are magnificent creation - the more we practice using them, the better we become. Stretch your minds a little, your body has the capacity to go further (even as I'm writing this, my eyelids are almost shutting down on me), give of your best to your spouse daily. You never know one kind word can create so much encouragement for them.
You're in control of your mind and body, not the reverse. You can do it, try it.
3) Risk taking
Certainly as long as it's not life and death do it, I'd advocate that to my kids. Kids try a lot of stuff, their inquisitive nature makes them unique and their learning process is improved dramatically with risk taking. Sometimes, we're so concerned with what our spouses may think of us. I've often told the younger ones - as long as it doesn't harm anyone, do it! Take risk with your spouse to attempt some fun, exciting things together which can produce the adrenalin rush. It's been confirmed via research that it bonds the couple more after these activities. By saying this, I'm not referring to extreme sports but those which both have not tried and are willing to give a go. As long as it doesn't harm anyone - DO IT!
"To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun?"
Three areas that I'd like to highlight we can learn from them;
1) Faith
As a child (whom I was once before), I'd look up to my parents not just for approval but even for guidance in the way I behaved, spoke and lived my life. How can this be applied to my relationship? The spouse that you chose (whom I believe is your best friend of life) will surely open up and offer advices on becoming a better person to them and the family. Many a times, we feel as if we're being run down but let's take it in the right manner - if our spouse can't be frank and honest with us, who can? So trust and have faith that your spouse wants the best for you and would be delighted to support you throughout making some positive adjustments.
2) Energy
Do you ever wonder where your kid/someone else's kid's energy come from? It's like boundless and never seems to stop once their excitement is raised. It's true we will drown in our weariness after a hard day’s work - where can I find that extra energy to communicate constructively with my spouse? Our bodies are magnificent creation - the more we practice using them, the better we become. Stretch your minds a little, your body has the capacity to go further (even as I'm writing this, my eyelids are almost shutting down on me), give of your best to your spouse daily. You never know one kind word can create so much encouragement for them.
You're in control of your mind and body, not the reverse. You can do it, try it.
3) Risk taking
Certainly as long as it's not life and death do it, I'd advocate that to my kids. Kids try a lot of stuff, their inquisitive nature makes them unique and their learning process is improved dramatically with risk taking. Sometimes, we're so concerned with what our spouses may think of us. I've often told the younger ones - as long as it doesn't harm anyone, do it! Take risk with your spouse to attempt some fun, exciting things together which can produce the adrenalin rush. It's been confirmed via research that it bonds the couple more after these activities. By saying this, I'm not referring to extreme sports but those which both have not tried and are willing to give a go. As long as it doesn't harm anyone - DO IT!
"To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun?"
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