Actions Speaks Louder

I've noticed many actually treat other people (can be outsiders, strangers etc) nicer than our own loved ones. I'm guilty of this sometimes and feel I'm kind of impatient with my family members than I am to strangers.

Let me illustrate, in our workplace we have colleagues who are frequently not punctual, do things slowly, make plenty mistakes but we accept it, without telling them off for fear of negative impression towards us. However, if our spouse is late - we start the words tirade, screaming and this sours the following outing.

Why is it that we can't be nicer & kinder to our loved ones?
1) We believe they'll forgive us - while this may be true, it also forms a projection on how the other person behaves. This can sometimes develop into such a habit that we take it as they'll never change, which of course is bad in the long run.
2) We're after our own interest most of the time - face the fact, all of us has our own agenda. Sometimes it may be congruent with our spouse, sometimes not. Worst still we think our partner knows what we want, thus expectations is high and when the other doesn't perform up to that standard, the verbal bullets starts to fly.
3) We think we're superior and know it all - Nobody's perfect, period!
4) Inferiority complex - this may sound crazy but if someone hasn't been treated well in workplace, he/she may want to exert that dominance over the other person to show that he/she will not bow down to anyone. Once at home, a different character emerges and the whole environment at home changes.

We spend so much time in our workplace or businesses and so little time at home (at times due to job requirements), why not be our best self to our loved ones. We're calling them loved one, not punching bags right. Let's be kinder and more patient with each other, the whole environment around you will be more peaceful and warm.

Perserverence Part II

This is in reference to the post on Nov 11.

Let's imagine we're running a long distance race (21 km) instead of a marathon (42 km, in order to get to the finish line won't we have to push ourselves and tell our body and mind that we can do it? We will sum up the energy and courage to complete the race trying to finish within a certain number or timing. When we achieve that, we feel elated and tell ourselves "I've done it, YES!" Certainly that involves plenty of time, dedicated practice, pain and courage.

Let's put that into our marriages context - isn't this a race too that we want to run till the end? But why is it that most couples take the easy way out of breaking up upon onset of few misunderstanding? Instead of ironing out the differences, we provoke and hurt each other further, eventually imploding within ourselves and forget about how we actually took time to build the strong foundation of togetherness before. Goals built together seem so distant now and eventually falls apart.

I'm sure all of us love our other half just as ourselves. Let's use that time, dedicated practice, pain and courage to see & work out to the completion of this wonderful journey we were committed to initially.